Things to talk to your partner about before moving in

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Moving in with someone for the first time can cause mixed feelings of excitement and anxiety at the same time therefore it is better to be over prepared rather than underprepared in my opinion.

It has been about a year now since I move out of my parents house and into a little granny flat with Justin, my partner, so I'm still pretty new at this stuff and am also still learning along the way. However before I moved out I remember reading and watching everything I can on the internet to see if I was ready to move out because it is a big step towards living a more independent life.  

I'm going to share some things that I though to myself and what we spoke about before moving in together.

Keep in mind that this is only from our own experience and yours will be different. Do not let anyone force you into doing something that you are not comfortable with or confident in.

Again, I am not a financial consultant, all these things are based on my personal experiences so please seek out a financial consultant if needed.

 

1. How are we going to split expenses?

Moving out comes with a lot of responsibility especially when it comes to finances. 

First figure out who you will be staying with and decide if they are trustworthy enough to stay with you because I have heard way to many stories where people moving together and someone calls it quits causing their flatmates real financial stress. 

Once you have figured that out, how are you gonna pay expenses? There are many ways that you can do this. You can split everything equally amongst everyone or some people can pay for certain things while the rest pay for others. Sit down and talk about this with everyone involved and make sure everyone agrees to what you come up with.

2. How are we going to do groceries?

During the first few months of living on our own we decided to try out grocery shopping for ourselves and when our schedule got a bit much we decided to try HelloFresh. You can decide to get your groceries anyway that suits you and it is okay to try new things. Be open to new ways of shopping but try and stick to the budget that you have set up for yourself.

3. What if's.

This topic can cause loads of emotions and is difficult to talk about but rather safe than sorry I guess, right? 

Before we moved out I made sure I covered as many 'what if' situations that I could from "what if we break up" to "what if we get a job offer somewhere else" and the list goes on. We made sure we were on the same page and that we had a rough action plan for each situation before hand, even if it never happens.

For example "what if we break up" would we still live together or would we move out, would we split our furniture and stuff equally or would we just essentially give ne person money and the other one gets the furniture. Painting a picture on what things would look like when things don't go to plan can be helpful especially beforehand because your emotions might be so strong during the situation, IF it happens, maybe you don't really take the time to think it through in the moment.

   4. Chores.

My most dreaded word. Honestly chores are super annoying but now living by ourselves I have realized that not having them done is even worse. 

Have a conversation around what each of you expect out of each other, yourself and just in general when it comes to chores and be really honest here. Maybe you decide to split the chores and do it on a certain day or maybe you take turns or even each of you decide to clean for 10minutes each day. Try things out and see what does work and doesn't but remember to communicate honestly to your partner and be open to new ideas ect.

6. Are you joining accounts or not?

This can be a difficult decision for some people to make because, I personally feel that you need to truly know and trust someone wholeheartedly when it comes to money especially if it is your money. 

Think about if this is what you want to do and if you trust your partner enough to do this. Keep your own and your partners spending habits in mind ,talk about your expectations and how this would work for you guys.

 Just take your time to think about this because 'giving the power of control' over your finances is something that does occur in abusive relationships. Just makes sure this is what would be best for you and don't do it if you are not comfortable. 

We currently do not have a joint account but will get one in the near future however with saying this we have decided that it would be better for us to still have our own separate bank accounts for personal use and a joint one for the bills because I would like us to feel like we each are still financially independent from each other too.

7. Emergencies.

Have a plan on what will happen incase of emergencies. This will be like how will you pay for it, is there someone else you can rely on to help if needed and will you be getting insurance? 

I think that anything emergency situation should be kept in mind from breaking bones, pandemics to car crashes and medical emergencies.

Have a rough action plan or even just some finances that can help during these situations can help in the future if something does happen.

Be clear and honest on whatever you decide to do in this new phase of your life because it will impact your future whether you want it too or not. I do believe that you will make the right decision for you! 

Love Char.